A Moment for Clarity

I just had some really encouraging words today from my godmother. In an earlier post I said I was "Broken". This blog is meant to sereve as a tool for me to discover myself through writing. For a long time I have followed the crowd, changing so that I could be like others. I would conform to be like the peers I surrounded myself with, desiring to be accepted. In this processes I lost my true identity; I became a person that I was not truly proud of.
 In the last year or so I have been on a journey of growth and change. I have been trying to reinvent JENNA; becoming the strong independent woman that I know I can be. This has not been an easy task, for it is true that "old habits die hard". I am seeing some progress within myself, but as far as reaching my personal goal, I still feel I have a long way to go. In the past I was not focused on being a student; I was lacking in my studies, and I was too focused on the social life. Today I am more focused as a student, I am thinking deeper than I have ever thought before, as I delve into my studies. I know these are practices that I should have been implementing from the beginning, but like I always tell myself, "there is no time like the present".
I thank my loving godmother for opening my eyes on this beautiful, sunny, Saturday morning. I am not broken, rather I am growing, and forming my identity though my journey. Each day I will strive to something to better myself, so that in the end, the result will be the best me I can be.

Gone But Never Forgotton

Early this morning God called you home.

We wanted you here,

But He needed you more.

We'll all shed some tears,

For you leaving this Earth,

Then join hands together

In reverence

For your Heavenly birth.

Though never again will we see your face,

Hear your voice,

Feel your touch;

Your spiritual embrace will be more than enough.

Now cover us all,

As we remain on this land.

Commune with the ones who have taken the good Lord's hand.

We will carry you with us wherever we go,

For this is not a good bye, farewell, so long,

Rather see you later when we join you at home. 

Black History Month: Part 1

Black History Month is supposed to educate all people about the contributions made by African Americans. I have found myself in the middle of debates as to why Black History Month is relevant. Some argue that no one race should be singled out, especially during the shortest month of the year. Others view the month of February as an opportunity to inform the advances that African Americans have made throughout history. Coming up in a predominantly white community, I did not learn my history in school or in my community. It was the church that taught me my history; the church sponsored diversity schools I attended, Sunday School programs that I was involved in, that taught me where I came from. 

Today race is still an issue. It is true we as a society have made advancements, but we still have a long way to go to experience true racial equality. It is important now more than ever to be educated on where we came from, and the strength and determination of the people who came before, to achieve a more unified society. 

Self Doubt

Often times i find myself in a state of self doubt. I know I am capable of doing great things, and achieving every goal I set for myself. There is, however another voice, that becomes rather loud at times. A voice that tells me 'I will fail, I can't do it, don't even try'. This is the voice of fear, a voice I have a difficult time silencing. I am working on self motivation, and consistency, but it is hard when I have learned to doubt myself for so long. It's a battle that stems from within, and I want to overcome this obstacle. 

Introduction

Dear Reader,
 Past attempts to start a blog have ended in failure, I seem to lack the ability to stay dedicated to something for a long amount of time. Consistency is the one trait that I desire, but I lack it; therefore I am going to try my best to stay consistent with this blog. I want to prove to myself, that I can set a goal and stick to it. I have this little voice in my head, that keeps telling me that I should have done this years ago, but there truly is no better time than the present
 Over the past year I have learned that I am in a sense broken. I have faced so many life changing experiences throughout my early adult life; I refuse to let what I have been through, define me or affect me any longer. I am ready to start a new chapter in my life, but I don't feel like I can do this until I reconcile with my inner demons. I want to tell my story, and through my story I not only hope to touch others, but find myself in my writing.
Please journey with me into my past, and into my future, as I experience change and growth.

sincerely,
Jenna Alberta Leigh